I hate how you make me feel like this even when you’re not here with me. Stop it.
I pity you a little.
It makes me sad that all you see is ink. I am so much more than that.
Why do we miss the ones that leave? Or even the ones we’ve left? Surely there is a reason for them not to be here anymore. But that doesn’t matter, because we still miss them. And there are moments where we wait for them to walk through the door, like they always did. But they don’t. And parts of us are glad they don’t. While other parts weep. But why? Why must we miss...
it is practically 5 o’clock in the morning, and I’m still awake. I hate having bronchitis. Stupid liquid in the lungs. Feels like I’m drowning.
I must find Andrew. I need Andrew. Right now.
Oh my Darling.
You have ruined me. I am so used to seeing you everyday that you go out of town for a weekend, and I was about to call you for lunch, then remembered that you’re gone and I am so sad. I see you everyday. Every freaking day. I have never wanted to see someone every day. I love you. You, stupid silly hand holder.
Why does it hurt me to say this?
I loved you. The pain in my chest when I say this phrase is nearly overwhelming. I feel like it might bring me to my knees. I loved you. I did. I loved who I was with you, and who you were with me. But I loved you. And I don’t anymore. But it hurts to say that I did love you, just as much as when I say I don’t anymore. You won’t miss my love. You aren’t lacking without it....
Remember. But I don’t want to. Remember, they ask. They beg, they plead. Remember. What for? Will they come back if I remember? No. So let’s pack up the rooms. Lock all the doors and stop trying this remembering thing. We are doomed, there is a price on our heads. Who are you? Nobody. Nothing. Shit, I’m remembering. Banging my head against the dash. Hit the gas, ignore my tears....
Stepping out of my comfort zone with you.
I have been sick, and you have been bringing me soup and ginger-ale And you have been letting me curl up on your chest and sleep while you watch movies. You are changing things about me that I never thought I would let anyone change. I need help, and I am willing to ask you for it. Thank you for the strength to do that. I love it when you’re near to me. What a wonderful silly little hand...
By the way, my name is not Caitlyn.
Yesterday, when we were in bed, you lied to me. I don’t think you realized it. But you did. Amidst us teasing and laughing you called me, Caitlyn. My name is not Caitlyn. And you tried to save yourself and say that you were telling me about the fact that she was texting you all day. And that she had the night before, and that when I showed up you didn’t text her back. And that she was...
Goodbye You. Hello Closure.
One of these days you will see me. And I will look the same, but different. And you will be struck by the horrible things you’ve done to me. And you will see that all I ever did for you and to you was that I loved you. And you will be seized with pain, and love for me will surge through you. You will try and catch my eye, and I will turn your way. I will embrace you, and your tears will be...
Packing For The Beach
I have to be at my mom’s in like an hour. We are leaving at like three or for in the morning. Ooops. Waaaay to put off packing until literally the final hours. XD
I am sleepy tired. Come cuddle with me.
The feels. I come home and Howl's Moving Castle...
Please help Howl take his heart back. Oh the feels. Oh those darn feels. Wow, Sophie, your hair looks just like starlight, it’s beautiful! THE FEELS!!!!
We chase each other, with our own tails in our mouths. Circling, hunting, with fangs in our skin. We yearn for one another, but we are tied to others. Why the hell are we dancing?
I have something to tell you. But you’re dead.
Oh you know
I just need to remind myself that I am enough. That I am beautiful. So much easier to talk about than to practice. I am sorry. I must say that I miss being with you, I felt better with you. Spending everyday with you could save my life.
What can I say? I love you.
When the high is 69 degrees. you know it’s cuddle weather.
But but but but but
Can’t I just stay in bed and read all day?
Merrrrrrr. Not sad at all. In love with this book....
I want to read The Pillars of the Earth to you. We once talked about being married and reading out loud to one another whilst doing the household chores. You would love everything about this book. It has knights and ladies. And fighting. And building a cathedral. You love cathedrals. I am reading out loud, pretending you are in the next room cleaning. Your wifey misses you.
Anonymous asked: no person in their right mind would touch a delirious, naive, and psychotic woman like yourself. i will stop posting on your precious blog where you vent to absolutely no one because in reality you have no one. on to the next pathetic girl who thinks they are special because of a so called "witty" blog they run.
Anonymous asked: no wonder you are still a virgin.
Anonymous asked: i bet you're one of those fat girls who writes "inspirational" words to yourself on post it notes and sticks them in secret places to feel better about yourself.
To my mean Anon.
I love you. I love you. I love you. Thank you for being yourself, (as much of yourself as you can be on anon). Thank you for voicing your honest opinion to me. Thank you. This is not sarcasm at all. This is honesty. You bring a smile to my face every time you say something negative. Because if you feel compelled to say these things, than I must be a threat to you in some way. Otherwise why attack...
Anonymous asked: That anon needs to stop apologizing for my comment about you having a miserable life. Because you know it's true, so no need for an apology.
Anonymous asked: What I said was ignorant, I intend no harm; sadly it comes out that way sometimes.
Anonymous asked: By the way, there are multiple anons on the internet, please be able to distinguish them. For I mean you no harm, but he does.
What do you have to say to that?
I lied to you, but I do not know how to tell you. I do not want you to be angry with me. It was a small lie, to make things easier on you. I can’t tell you yet. It could change things for you. I am sorry.
Anonymous asked: Sorry. Good luck with your life, talk to you later.
So I have been watching The Pillars of the Earth, which is based on a book. And I am so taken with the characters that I am about to buy the book on my Kindle. Oh falling in love with men that don’t exist. Lol. Nerd problems. XD
idoitforyoulove asked: Anon. You spineless insect. Whoever you are, you need to stop talking to my darling like that. I care about her wonderful life. My world is a better place with her in it. Actually. She is my world. She puts me on a pedestal. One that I don't deserve to be on. And I love her. She makes me smile. She makes me laugh. And if something is bothering her, I want to know. You don't have to stalk...
Anonymous asked: No one cares about your miserable life. So do everyone a favor and stop bitching about it. Thanks.
Oh and one last thing for tonight.
You were a situation I got used to. And now that I am numb to you, I can try and pull my head above water. But I am still choking on maybes, and kissing in the backseat of cars. You did me a disservice, and I am better off without you. But that doesn’t make me miss you any less, and I do wish I could undo it. You do not deserve to be a part of me. But you are. And I want to hate you for...
If my memory serves me, and it usually does, this...
Him: I've been pretty swell, to be honest. I've had my bad days but for the most part I've been good.
Me: That is wonderful.
Him: I sense a dab of sarcasm.
Me: No, there was none. I was being honestly nice, for once. Lol.
Him: oh, haha. My bad! Well thank you (Now I feel like a complete ass.)
Me: Hahah, you shouldn't I am normally Queen Sarcastic Bitch. No worries. It's toned down some, I had been using it as a defense mechanism. Lol.
Him: Completely understandable. So what're you up to?
By The Way
Christopher Paul Norris. I love you, and I miss you everyday. Everyday. I will never be done with you, and I will never say goodbye. Moving on is not possible, but coping is. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. You are for me, and I am forever for you.
I am seething. I could take your eye out right...
This is not what I wanted to hear. When I told you I was done I meant it. There is no need for you to keep torturing yourself. You keep declaring your love, and telling me you will wait for me forever. Only to turn around and ask me if I liked breaking your heart and ruining you for anyone else. And then tell me that I did to you, what that ‘Spider’ did to me. You just make me mad. And...
So sleepy. :(